Category Archives: Quotes

Quotable – in a world where you can be anything…

“In a world where you can be anything.  Be kind.” – unknown

I don’t think this quote for my quotable Thursday series really needs all that much explanation, as I think we learned its basic principle in kindergarten.

You have the power to be anything; you control how you treat people. And with all of those options, choose to be kind…it’ll help make the world a better place.

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On happiness

Today is National Happiness Happens Day 

As children, happiness comes easily – a funny sounding word, the sight of a puppy, or the first taste of candy.  But as adults, happiness can be more illusive.  We carve our lives into pieces, trying to determine if we have adequate amounts of happiness.  We ask ourselves hundreds of questions – does my job make me happy, am I happy with my weight, am I happy with what I look like, would I be happier if…?

It is important to ask ourselves these questions and to be the pilot of our lives, instead of a passenger.  But sometimes, too much awareness serves to make us more frustrated than happy.  While it’s important to be self-aware in life, I’ve found that performing a near-autopsy on every aspect of life and being overly hard on myself for being human can serve to drag me down instead of raising me up.

And sometimes despite our best efforts, fate seems to align the stars and planets to give you a spectacularly shitty day/month/year and even the most carefully deliberated decisions don’t seem to help.

Then what are we to do?  How can we find happiness?

Finding happiness is the great pursuit of our lives, the question we search to answer throughout our lives.

I answer this question for myself by taking pleasure in the small moments of happiness.  Small moments of happiness and of gratitude can find us anywhere – a bright and sunny day, cool breezes that caress your skin during an oppressively hot August, an extra few minutes of cuddling in bed before work, a smile from a friend, or the glistening layer of cheese on a New York or New Haven style pizza (this is true happiness btw).

Moments of happiness can happen all around us and sometimes they have the power to carry you through the day…which reminds me of a quote –

“It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

Here’s hoping that happiness finds its way to you today, and every day.

 

Gratitude

She told me to try to frame it in terms of gratitude. What was I thankful for as a result? What wouldn't I have if not for it happening?

"The upside of painful knowledge is so much greater than the downside of blissful innocence." – Sheryl Sandberg

I've a confession to make –
Sometimes, I miss the innocent way I used to view the world. The way I would jump headlong into something – full of optimism, brimming with trust.

I used to give the benefit of the doubt without a second thought.
I used to give away second chances like they were in a fire sale.

I used to have rose-colored glasses superglued to my face.

But then, it happened. There may be beauty in truth but there is ugliness there too – so jarring that it jolts us into a new reality.

A reality where a therapist asks you what the upside is, the things you can find to be grateful for as a result of it.

I smile.

I am grateful –

For freedom
For knowledge
For opened eyes
For relationships I've kept
For relationships I've built and rebuilt
For strength and resilience I didn't know I had.

For true happiness that only found me in my after.

For surviving and building something better inside myself.

Quotable Thursdays – Change

If there’s one constant in this world, it’s change.  When we’re young, we tend to embrace it, hurdling ourselves from one adventure to the next – with no fear.  But as we get older, and the stakes seems to grow in magnitude, change becomes scary.  We find ourselves muttering, “but I’ve always done it this way.”  Knowing full well, perhaps in the back of our minds, that “this way” isn’t the only or even best way.

But why do we cling to that which is familiar?

Maybe it’s because the unknown is scary and while we may not be happy with the current state of things, change can be scary.

Then earlier this week, I was walking my dog and looking at the autumn leaves and thinking to myself, the world changes all around us – constantly.  Maybe that makes change less scary, and more necessary.  And that’s when I thought of this JFK quote:

Photo credit @prolixme, made with Enlight and WordSwag apps

“Change is the law of life.  And those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future.” -JFK

A very good friend of mine once told me something about change and personal timelines that I really liked.  I’m going to paraphrase and I’m sure it won’t be nearly as elegant, but here you go –

There three versions of yourself – past you, present you, and future you.  For past you, be grateful that you got through all of the hard times.  Be grateful of the good things you have because of the things you’ve done in the past. Your job now and moving forward is to continue to make choices and do the things that will give future you an even better life.  Now, some of that may require change.  And we all know that change is scary.  But if it means even the chance for a better tomorrow and a better future, shouldn’t you take it?

Quotable Thursday – kindness

I often pick Thursdays to showcase quotes that I love or that I’ve been thinking about.  Today, I’m picking a quote on kindness, which seems to be underrated lately.

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” -Aesop

I’ve been thinking about kindness a lot lately.  Not only in the recent political battles here in the U.S. and happenings on a global scale, but also in day to day life in our own local communities.  Where has kindness gone?

Kindness, in some people’s minds is seen as a sign of weakness.  Kindness given to strangers, unkind people, or people we don’t like is often viewed as wasted.  But it’s not.  Any act of kindness is worthwhile.  Even small, simple actions can help to brighten someone’s day or bolster someone when they need it most.  People who you disagree with, people who are different than you, nice people, friendly people, neighborhood grumps, and office cranky-pantsers – all of these people deserve kindness, after all, they are all people.

So be kind today, you never know who might need it.

 

Quotable Thursdays

I love quotes, especially the meaningful ones. And it’s funny, because they can show up anywhere – books, movies, tv…  Sometimes, you hear them and they speak to you right away. While other times, it takes months for you to really grasp their message…maybe even years. 

Today’s quote is about love (altogether now, awwwww). 

I love this quote. I think that many people looking for deeper connections and love look for something similar. And I think that people who have had medicocre or unfulfilling connections look for it too.  

There was a time in my life (I’m sure a time in many people’s lives), when I was willing to stay in a relationship that was unfulfilling and lonely. Why did I stay?  Because I remembered the good times, because I made a promise, because it was what was expected, and to be honest – because it was what was easy.  But it wasn’t right for me.  And after I recovered from it, I realized that I wanted a deeper and more real connection with someone. I wanted a meaningful kind of love and partnership. And, more importantly, that I deserved to be fulfilled and happy – everyone does.

So, if you’re looking for love – I hope you find it. And if you’re lucky enough to have it already, I hope you continue to tend it and help it grow. ❤️️

Take a chance

I’ve always loved music, sayings, and quotes.  They have that unique ability to impart thoughts and feelings with a memorable punch.

This week’s quote is one I’ve come across recently –

“So many people are shut up tight inside themselves like boxes, yet they would open up, unfolding quite wonderfully, if only you were interested in them.” – Sylvia Plath

There are many things I’ve learned over the last year or so and one of the most important is simply this – give people a chance and appreciate others.  There are hidden depths to people – granted some of it can be bad, but some of it can be really good and friendships can spring in the most unlikely of places.

I’ve always been an open person, and since my divorce, I’ve really pushed myself to give people a chance (alas, sometimes divorces can give you trust and self-worth issues).  There are two people in particular who I’ve come across since my divorce and my initial feelings were to stay away…that nothing good would come out of knowing them.  But – in both cases – I’ve been surprised by these new relationships, and definitely for the better.

So , don’t be afraid to get out there and give people a chance…you never know who you’ll meet and what new things you’ll discover.  🙂

Until being strong is the only choice you have

As a writer, I’ve always believed in the magic of words and as a reader, I’ve often felt their power.  Stories and songs have that amazing ability to break through barriers and – teach, show, remind, and reach us.  Quotes can be the distilled form of that magic – few words, with a powerful punch.

One of my favorite quotes is one I’ve found myself turning to many times over the last few years – “you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

And it’s true.

Exactly two years ago was the worst day of my life…

It was the day I discovered my ex was living a double life.

It felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me and I found myself over a yawning pit, struggling to make sense of the truth I’d learned.

It was a day that set my world on fire.

There were many painful days to come – of sorting through the hurt and taking a step back to see that relationship was more toxic than I’d realized and dangerous to my mental health.

But it was also the day I left.

And it was the day that I started to rebuild my life.  It took strength to leave – as it always does – and it took strength to pull myself up and put the pieces of myself back together.  Strength my ex (and even I) didn’t know that I had.

Exactly two years ago was the worst day of my life…Wait, that’s really not true.  It was a terrible day.  A fucking shitty day and it probably turned at least a few of the hairs on my head gray.

BUT, I mark it as my independence day, my anniversary to myself, a reminder of how strong I am and what I can overcome.

And you know what?  My life is so much better now.  I’m healthier, stronger, smarter, more confident, and have more than a little bad-assery in me.  I don’t regret that day or wish it didn’t happen.  It gave me scars but it didn’t break me, it set me free.

And (this is important) – if I can do it, so can you.  Push through that struggle and sucker-punch that shitty day in the face.  Show the world what you’re made of and that this pain can’t break you…that you’ll get past it and emerge stronger and wiser than before.

And when in doubt – repeat to yourself:

On those we’ve lost

Every leap day brings a reminder of my eighth grade year and the day when a dear friend of mine killed himself.

It’s never easy when someone we love is taken from us.  The finality of the loss, the ache of what might have been can bring you to your knees.

But the ones that we love never truly leave us.  They live on within us – in our memories and in our hearts, always.

If there ever comes a day when we can be together, keep me in your heart.  I’ll stay there forever. -A.A. Milne

To J.R. – I’ll always keep you in my heart.

Solid foundation

A powerful quote for you today – on building, or more accurately, rebuilding your life from one of my favorite authors:

Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. – JK Rowling

photo credit: @prolixme

I feel like that’s so powerful, it deserves a second picture quote with my new Hermione action figure .(That’s right, I have a Hermione doll and I took her outside to pose her on rocks for this quote.  But are you actually surprised by this? 🙂  )

photo credit: @prolixme

Boom, done.

Now we have double picture quote power and hopefully, that drives home the message of Resilience (yep with a capital R).

There will be times when life kicks you right in the teeth, I can promise you this.  Sometimes it will surprise you and other times, you’ll see it coming and still take that sucker punch.  You’ll want to scream, cry, and give up.  Scream and cry, if you must.  I do sometimes and it can make me feel better (I usually try to remember to roll up my car windows before I scream, but hey…no one’s perfect 😉 ).

But don’t give up – not on the things that truly matter.  Rebuild.

Rebuild exactly where you are, there’s no better place.  Take the lessons learned from past mistakes, as they will help create a strong and solid foundation for anything you decide to pursue.

This quote was one of my mantras when I went through one of the hardest times of my life – a messy divorce and the fallout after that extremely unhealthy relationship.  I’d look at the quote when I needed reassurance that my life could be rebuilt and that I was the architect of my own life, my own future.  I could have stayed on my couch crying, but I didn’t.  I rebuilt my life and have come through the other side of that darkness stronger than ever.

And if I can rebuild, you can do it too.  There’s magic in this world to help you…and it’s already where it belongs – inside of you. 🙂