Category Archives: Life with Bella

The Hallway pooper

And now, for a snow-time adventure story with Bella, the loyal cat-dog: so named for her sassiness and penchant for “bitch, please” stare-downs.

This, this here – is a picture of my dog’s nightmare – a winter wonderland bathroom.
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The cold, the ice, the snow, and that weird salt that my apartment people put down that seems to agitate Bella’s paws – yes, all of the combines to my dog’s own personal nope to winter.

The most complicated part of going outside, is negotiating with said dog on going to the bathroom.  Generally, it involves t-words (also known as Treats), patience, and some cajoling.  But when the snow gets really high, the places for doing doggy business decrease (especially for a small dog).

After one very cold morning excursion, after a big snow, I found myself wondering if Bella was finished and I was just wasting both of our times out in the cold waiting for her to…well, poop.

But Bella refused to cooperate.  No amounts of patients or promise of treats moved her from wanting to leave the dreaded cold.  So, we headed back inside my apartment building where it is warmer and carpeted (though not fully enclosed).  We climbed up a few flights of stairs and started walking down said carpeted hallway, when my classy dog started walking in what I can only describe as a pre-poop walk.  But I thought I was mistaken…foolish me.

Two seconds later my dog is in poop-posture and of course, it was right outside of someone’s door.

I squealed and begged her to come back outside.  But did she?  Oh no.  She had found the perfect cold weather place for a small dog to poop…inside a warm hallway after a cold and snowy sojourn, earning her a new moniker – the hallway pooper.  I suppose it could be worse.  The owner of said apartment could have opened the door at that exact moment (maybe I should use it as a “meet cute” in a romance novel, though I’m not sure how one could recover from such a moment).

Anyway, I quickly cleaned up her mess and we ran back to my apartment before anyone saw…at least I think so.

Here’s to hoping your cold and snowy weather adventures are a little less messy.  🙂

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Thoughts on snow, by a small dog

  Snow is some serious bullshit. 

….ah, I’ve just been told by my person that I’ve used a bad word. 

As a dog, obviously there are no bad words. There are still rules – like no barking in my person’s face when she’s reading…or sleeping (I do it anyway though because it’s funny). But let’s get back to the topic at hand – 

Snow stinks (I’ve been told this word is okay) because anything more than three inches is level with my belly. And I don’t have to explain to you why that would be uncomfortable for me. 

But there are benefits to snow – like the baking that goes on in this apartment when snow is on the ground and my person doesn’t have to work.  There are breads, pies, and all kinds of treats I get to sample. It’s bliss, until of course we have to go outside again and more snow has accumulated in my absence.  And then it’s clear –

Snow is a mother fucker.

Okay, so apparently that word is bad too? I’m starting to wonder about my person’s vocabulary…

Anyway, wish me luck and a warm belly, friends, for winter is here and snow, she is coming…  

Turkey dog

My dog, Bella, is known as the cat-dog as she’s got the snark and judgmental eyes of a cat with the energy and loyalty of a dog.

Of all of the things that Bella is known for, her role as sous chef is the most infamous.  I can’t even claim her as only my sous chef as Bella will lend out her skills as floor cleaner, dishwasher, and food smeller extraordinaire to anyone.  While in this role, she will often park her butt on the floor behind the cook or directly in front of the stove…in case her taste testing skills are required, such selfless sacrifice from our humble sous chef.

And this Christmas, Bella’s sous chef skills truly paid off.  I give you – the tale of the turkey dog:

The electric knife buzzed through the Christmas turkey (turkey is never frowned upon in this establishment) and the aroma of well-cooked meat perfumed the air around our noses.  I forked another slice of turkey on to the serving tray when I heard Bella’s collar jingle.

And then it jingled again, like when Bella shakes off the rain after a walk.  I looked down to see her shake off again, droplets flying off her head…

Alicia – “Why is your head wet?”

Bella – Here is my innocent face, which I hope will distract you from asking any more inconvenient questions.

I turn back to the table to grab another slice of turkey, my eyes falling to the table just below the cutting board, where turkey juices had apparently been pooling for quite some time…to the seam in the table where another leaf can be added to make the kitchen table larger…where turkey juices were dripping onto a sizable pool on the floor.  At that moment, perhaps sensing the last moments of her secret treat, Bella darted under the table (and into the dripping stream) for another taste of turkey juices and then sat prettily for this picture – oily, turkey fur and all.

“Though my fur is oily and smelly, my eyes are carefully innocent.”

I guess all of that experience as sous chef finally paid off…sadly enough, it also earned Bella one of her least favorite activities – a bath.

In the middle of the night

My dog, Bella, is an interesting character. We call her the cat-dog, for the bit of sassiness that goes along with her doggie sweetness.

After I left my ex-husband, I moved in with my sister and her husband for a short time, to help me get on my feet.  Because I was newly separated and sad, for the first time ever, I let the dog sleep in the room with me (my ex was always anti this).  

Any way, one night I was startled awake by what felt like someone pushing my shoulder. A gasp escaped my lips and I opened my eyes, but could see nothing in the pitch black of the room. 

I took a breath, but the heaviness in the pit of my stomach didn’t leave me… It did however shift slightly. 

“Bella?” I said to the darkness.  The shifting stopped and tried to will itself still.  This is when I realized that my dog, who has very dark brown and black fur knows that I can’t see her at night.

My mommy voice came out, “Bella, get down.”

There is no Bella, only darkness. 

So, I sat up, grabbed the petulant bit of darkness and put her down on the floor. The darkness huffed and went back to her doggie bed to go back to sleep, but only after giving me a stare down. 

 

Two words

Life with Bella, the cat-dog

It’s been awhile since I’ve done a post on Bella, my intrepid four-legged companion, nicknamed the cat-dog for the snark that often accompanies her doggie playfulness…

I’m convinced that if my dog could say one word (probably over and over again), it would be – “please.”

If she could say two words, I’m fairly certain they would be – “bitch, please.”

I have compiled photographic evidence to prove my point…

Here we have the – “please.”

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And of course, the “bitch, please.”

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Again…the “please” (usually with food):

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And of course, the “bitch, please.”

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And do we have another example of the “please?”  No, no, we do not.  So instead, another example of the “bitch, please,” which is the much more common face the cat-dog likes to wear.

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Are we ready for the weekend?  Bitch, please…