Ah yes, food in the workplace, such a joyous thing. I’m not talking about the kind of food you bring in a bag from home or what you purchase from the vending machine. I’m talking about the free stuff…the stuff that turns us into vultures in business casual.
Food! Glorious food! 🙂
Anyway, it seems as though there are three kinds of free office food scenarios:
- Your meeting food – You’re attending a meeting that’s either painfully early in the morning or one that stretches through lunch and therefore, you have won the privilege of free food. Score!
- Not your meeting food – You’re not in a meeting, but someone is. Now, you can be one of two people:
- Sneaky lunch stealer – you lurk outside of meetings and swoop in to get your free lunch or perhaps you boldly pretend you belong before sneaking off with your prize. Oh sneaky lunch stealer, you are a bold and beautiful beast of the office world. Just be careful though, we’re all on to you and unless you bring the rest of us meeting cookies, we just might tell.
- Left-over luncher: What’s that congealed mass of meat-like product? What meeting was it from? Was it from yesterday or today? It doesn’t matter! The microwave is your friend (I hope). So fill up that paper plate and go to town, my friend. But hurry up, the rest of the office heard there’s free leftover food and it’ll only be moments before the rest of the masses descend.
- One of your coworkers brought in food: You fall into one of these categories-
- You brought the goodies – Yay! We thank you, patron saint of all those who get the 10 am or 2 pm cravings. We love you and your delicious goodies.
- You are an eater – You squeal with delight with free goodies and thank the person who brought them, hopefully not with your mouth overflowing with said treats.
- You’re a vocal dieter or a hater – You complain about the free goodies and/or never say thank you. If this is you, then you sir, YOU stink. I don’t care if you’re on a diet or decry the use of “thanks.” Either don’t partake (quietly, preferably) or say thanks. Why the finger wagging? Well, you trolls are the reason the goodie-bringers stop bringing goodies. So be nice and don’t complain when someone brings in free and delicious treats. Otherwise, you’ll get some serious side-eye and stank-face from the rest of us (and trust me, it’s well deserved).