Gone awry

Have you ever felt like your life was supposed to be different than this?

Well, you’re not alone.  When I was in college, I had a plan – I’d get married in my mid-twenties, have a job that made a difference in the world/that helped people,  first baby by 28, traditionally published novel at 30, house at 33, MBA at 36, and blissful family, writing, working life in all of the years to follow. (Yeah, I know my list was a little stacked.  Sometimes I think my super hero name should have been optimist-prime.)

Well, you know what they say about the plans of mice and men…

Yep, sometimes they get all fucked up. I’m paraphrasing, of course.

But what should you do when your life goes off the rails?

#1 Reflect – or as I like to call it: freak out or mope for a little while and get it out of your system.

Whenever something bad happens, I generally allow myself a little while to sit and be sad.  It helps to mope, but I try to place a time limit on it so that I can move past the mope cycle and on to the next stage.  Otherwise, I’d get stuck in the endless mope cycle.  And who wants that?

#2 Rebuild the track – or figuring out where you want to go or what you want to do.

I’m calling it the track here and not the destination because, honestly, who the hell knows what exactly they want to do with their life?  (And if you do know, hush your face.  You’ve won, alright? And the rest of us are jealous.)  Anyway, even if you don’t know where you want to end up, with some time you can probably figure out what you want your next step to be.

So, if you want to get published traditionally – start looking for an agent or a new editor to help you on your way.  Work on that query letter (and then please motivate me to do the same, as those things are tricky minxes).

#3 Rebuild the train – pick yourself up and get your shit together, darlin.

Seek ways to motivate yourself – images of the end goal, picture quotes (I’m so guilty of this one), and positive reinforcement.  If there’s someone in your life that likes to shit-storm on your parade, push them out of your inner circle.  If you can’t push them out, then start singing Taylor Swift in your head (“Haters gonna hate, hate, hate”).  Actually, fuck those clowns – sing Taylor Swift out-loud.

#4 Rinse and Repeat, because let’s face it – this isn’t the last time that things won’t go 100% your way.  That’s life, it’s up to you how you deal with it.

10 thoughts on “Gone awry

  1. I think another good thing to do is realize that you don’t need to meet some sort of check list quota in your life either. I had a long-time friend that married a guy when she was in her mid-twenties just because she assumed it was something she had to do by that point in her life. They had a messy marriage and got divorced less than a year later.

    Having goals is great, but you shouldn’t try to railroad your life. Think of it more as a road trip. There are certainly places you’d like to see along the way, but be flexible enough to realize life isn’t that simple. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s completely true – life isn’t a checklist and sometimes we get too wrapped up in what we think we should be doing (or what we think we need/want) that we miss out on the ride (however beautiful, crazy, unpredictable, and scary it is). 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Of mice, men and women. The education systems should be totally revamped. Too many Utopian ideas promoted as normal actually create feelings of angst and despondency for many well intentioned foks. The ideal life styles we plan for ourselves early on in our career do not seem to fit the mold that reality presents to us.

    Rather a revitalized system in which creative, on-the-spot ,seat of your pants thinking helps you to forge a flexible life style for yourself without the disappointing results that ideal thinking might create. It’s healthier and you’ll be a more resilient and ready for anything type of person.

    This style of thinking works for me. Reality is a bitch but not a mistress. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s true, I was filled with such utopian ideas of what I could do – and in such a short amount of time, instead of thinking of what was more important or even just focusing on the journey (which leads to a more fulfilling life, I think). And I loved your end line – reality is a bitch but not a mistress. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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