A to Z Challenge – P (AC)

A to Z Challenge

For the challenge, I’m focusing on the A to Z of reading and writing romance novels. This series of posts will contain Adult Content - though not really in this post.

image

P is for Pirates!

Arrr!  Heehee, sorry. :)

There are many historical romances that revolve around swashbuckling heroes, with long, flowing hair and sexy, tanned skin.  The pirate sub-genre has been around FOREVER and I’d bet that this trend is not likely to stop anytime soon, especially with Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom in dirty pirate garb burned permanently in our brains.  And no, that’s not a complaint. ;)

And now for couple of fairly tame and silly pirate jokes to honor of these hot, dangerous heroes:

- How much did it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears?  – A buck-an-ear!

- Why are pirates mean? Or, why are romance novel pirates so sexy? — Because they arrrrrr.  :)

A to Z Challenge – O (AC)

A to Z Challenge

For the challenge, I’m focusing on the A to Z of reading and writing romance novels. This series of posts will contain Adult Content – especially in this post. So, if you’re really young or don’t enjoy dirty things, just don’t read it. No harm, no foul. Otherwise…enjoy. :)

imageO is for the Big O

Since my theme this month is essentially an ongoing, mostly raunchy homage to romance/erotica, it should come as no surprise that my o word of the day is orgasm.

Oh come on…you knew we were building up to this, didn’t you? ;)   

We all know that there’s a fair amount of sex (some more raunchy than others) in my favorite genre.  But in case you didn’t know –  in romance novels, sex is very rarely sub-par or even good enough.  Romance novel sex is mind-blowing and addictive for the hero and heroine.  It causes our characters to hurtle to the edge of oblivion as they experience life changing, wake-up-the-neighborhood-level orgasms.

<whew> Makes you wish that romance land accepted visas from us real life people, doesn’t it? ;)

A to Z Challenge – N (AC)

A to Z Challenge

For the challenge, I’m focusing on the A to Z of reading and writing romance novels. This series of posts will contain Adult Content – especially in this post. So, if you’re really young or don’t enjoy dirty things, just don’t read it. No harm, no foul. Otherwise…enjoy. :)

imageN is for the Nub

Well, we’ve already paid homage to junk in romance novels and their massive importance. ;)  Now, it’s time to move on to the nub and all the amusing names for it in romance/erotica (and in general) – it’s the bundle of sensitive nerves, the clit, the bean, nature’s Rubik’s cube (I love “Family Guy”), the love button, the cherry gum drop, the doorbell (must ring for service), and proof that being a woman is awesome (take that you standing pee-ers!).  Heehee.  Hey, I had to make up for the lack of raunch in my last two posts. ;)

One of the many lovely things about the world of romance/erotica is that 99.9% of heroes (I read one book that brings this stat down from 100%) are well versed in the female anatomy – sometimes more so than the heroine.  And for that, we are glad.

Cheers to the nub and the many knowledgable heroes (or those willing to learn)! :)

A to Z Challenge – M (AC)

A to Z Challenge

For the challenge, I’m focusing on the A to Z of reading and writing romance novels. This series of posts will contain Adult Content…though not in this post. :)

imageM is for Marriage

First comes love then comes marriage

Following that logic, since all romance novels have love in them then they should also have marriage.  This used to be the case in the old timey romance novels – except historicals, when the hero/heroine would sometimes enter into a loveless marriage and then fall in love with each other after.

Now, many romance novels written today end in marriage while some just end with the knowledge that the hero and heroine are meant to be together and are happy together.  I don’t mind either way, as long as they end up together at the end of the book (or the end of the trilogy, if the author wants to jerk your chain for a bit).  ;)

A to Z Challenge – L (AC)

A to Z Challenge

For the challenge, I’m focusing on the A to Z of reading and writing romance novels. This series of posts will contain Adult Content.  :)

imageL is for Love

Obviously, you can’t have a romance novel without LOVE.  Whatever the premise or sub-genre, all heroes and heroines in romance novels experience love.

Characters might be filled with longing over an unrequited love, struggling with a new and confusing love for a friend, or dealing with that terrifying moment when they cross the thin line that separates hate (with steamy sex) from love (with steamy sex).  :)

A to Z Challenge – K (AC)

A to Z Challenge

For the challenge, I’m focusing on the A to Z of reading and writing romance novels. This series of posts will contain Adult Content. So, if you’re really young or don’t enjoy dirty things, just don’t read it. No harm, no foul. Otherwise…enjoy. :)

imageK is for Kissing

Not all romance novels have explicit sex scenes (I know, it’s an unfortunate reality ;) ), but all romance novels have kissing.

Kissing is essentially a requirement of romance and it is always a sizzling encounter – often thrusting characters into a maelstrom of passion, sensation, and turbulent emotions.  Sometimes, even kissing can get downright naughty, especially when the hero’s tongue mimics what he’s doing, hmmm, elsewhere. ;)

Happy A to Z posting.

A to Z Challenge – J (AC)

A to Z Challenge

For the challenge, I’m focusing on the A to Z of reading and writing romance novels. This series of posts will contain Adult Content. So, if you’re really young or don’t enjoy dirty things, just don’t read it. No harm, no foul. Otherwise…enjoy. :)

image

J is for Jokes

I like books with a healthy dose of humor, whether it’s dark comedy, sarcasm, silly jokes, or witty banter – regardless of the genre (dirty jokes are especially appreciated).  Written comedy is a tricky art, since a lot of comedy is in the delivery – a change in your voice, an eye roll, or even stage presence – these are things that are hard to convey in a novel.  But if comedy is done well in your books, you can keep a reader hooked – even through those tricky “set-up” or in-between scenes.

…And J is also for Junk ;)

Ah yes, the junk.  In those fabulously explicit sex scenes, many authors can be quite expansive in their description of the hero’s junk.  In old timey romance novels (the ones in your mom’s basement that smell rather musty), the author would refer to the hero’s man candy as a “flaming sword” or famously, his “quivering member.”

While some authors still shy away from using key words, other authors will give you a full lowdown on the cock – sometimes it’s pierced (oh my), but it is always ready, often springing from the confines of jeans and into action.  And sometimes, the heroine sees it and wonders (often out loud), “how will it fit?  (Think I’m joking, boys?  Look it up!)   This bit makes the hero chuckle knowingly and always makes my lips curl up in glee.

Side note:  My husband claims that he can tell when I’m reading a sex scene because of some specific, naughty smile on my face.  I guess that just means the author did a good job.  ;)

A to Z Challenge – I (AC)

A to Z Challenge

For the challenge, I’m focusing on the A to Z of reading and writing romance novels. This series of posts will contain Adult Content. So, if you’re really young or don’t enjoy dirty things, just don’t read it. No harm, no foul. Otherwise…enjoy. :)

imageI is for intercourse (as in conversation/dialogue…you lot, with your dirty minds! :) )

Intercourse (I know it’s juvenile, but I can’t stop this smirk from spreading across my lips) is important in any novel.  In romance novels, our hero and heroine often engage in witty banter and sexy flirting.  But if the author doesn’t have a “good ear” for dialogue, the exchanges between characters can feel forced or worse – not true to life.

I hate it when I see intercourse <giggle> that doesn’t ring true.  Don’t you?

I is also for interruptions:

Yes, interruptions – you know what I’m talking about.

The hero and the heroine are swept up in the heat of the moment.  She holds her breath, her heart pounding against her ribs, as his long fingers reach for the zipper of her jeans… and then <wait for it>  her roommate, his brother, someone’s ex, a vampire, a serial killer, or fucking wolverine walks in and interrupts.  Gah!  Bastards!

But, who am I kidding?  I love them.  Interruptions (whatever they happen to be) are part of what makes that eventual sex scene so hot.

Don’t believe me?  Trust me, sometimes it’s all about….

….anticipation.  Now that would have been a good “a” word for this month.  ;)

A to Z Challenge – H (AC)

A to Z Challenge

For the challenge, I’m focusing on the A to Z of reading and writing romance novels. This series of posts will contain Adult Content. So, if you’re really young or don’t enjoy dirty things, just don’t read it. No harm, no foul. Otherwise…enjoy. :)

imageH is for Holiday Themed Romances

<Sigh>  I like holiday stories, honestly I do.  Every year, I watch “Miracle on 34th Street,” “Elf,” “Shop around the corner,” and a wide assortment of other holiday movies.

That said – it is so hard for me to get into and like holiday themed romance novels.  They tend to be overly cutesy and a little, well, forced.  I’m sure holiday novels are really hard to write – how do you combine adequate holiday lore with the raunchy sexiness of romance novels - without making me roll my eyes at the cheesiness?  Well, maybe you’re not supposed to.  Maybe readers of holiday smut want cheesiness in their stories.

What say you, lovers of romance – do you like holiday smut with or without the cheesiness?

A to Z Challenge – G (AC)

A to Z Challenge

For the challenge, I’m focusing on the A to Z of reading and writing romance novels. This series of posts will contain Adult Content. So, if you’re really young or don’t enjoy dirty things, just don’t read it. No harm, no foul. Otherwise…enjoy. :)

imageG is for Girl Friends

G is for Girl Friends and the importance of female friends for our romance novel heroine.

Depending on the story, girl friends can give us comic relief, smirk at the heroine’s dealings with the hero, have deep conversations that fill us in on back-stories or help our heroine realize obvious truths, hold side kick status for all kinds of adventures, and take us on interesting side stories (including their own romances) in the novel.

…And the heroine’s girl friends (if they’re interesting enough and if the author is so inclined) can open the door to sequels.  So, the next time you come across a scene with the heroine and her girl friend - don’t skip over it.  Grab a glass of wine and toast that secondary character and unsung heroine.  :)